Nazinger Invades

New York and Washington D.C. are under thick armed cop, SWAT and Federal agent security, and you're paying for it!

Why? Because the world's most evil drag queen, Pope Nazinger, has swooped in with his minions to make a lame excuse for being the mastermind of the biggest child sex abuse scandal in global history. Nazinger is also meeting with Chimpoleon, the grandson of the U.S.' biggest Nazi money-launderer, Prescott Bush. They have a lot in common, but Nazinger snubbed him by not eating at the same table. Smell her!

Pope 'led cover-up of child abuse by priests'
The Pope played a leading role in a systematic cover-up of child sex abuse by Roman Catholic priests, according to a shocking documentary to be screened by the BBC tonight.

In 2001, while he was a cardinal, he issued a secret Vatican edict to Catholic bishops all over the world, instructing them to put the Church's interests ahead of child safety.

The document recommended that rather than reporting sexual abuse to the relevant legal authorities, bishops should encourage the victim, witnesses and perpetrator not to talk about it. And, to keep victims quiet, it threatened that if they repeat the allegations they would be excommunicated.

The Panorama special, Sex Crimes And The Vatican, investigates the details of this little-known document for the first time. The programme also accuses the Catholic Church of knowingly harbouring paedophile clergymen. It reveals that priests accused of child abuse are generally not struck off or arrested but simply moved to another parish, often to reoffend. It gives examples of hush funds being used to silence the victims.

Before being elected as Pope Benedict XVI in April last year, the pontiff was Cardinal Thomas Ratzinger who had, for 24 years, been the head of the powerful Congregation of the Doctrine of The Faith, the department of the Roman Catholic Church charged with promoting Catholic teachings on morals and matters of faith. An arch-Conservative, he was regarded as the 'enforcer' of Pope John Paul II in cracking down on liberal challenges to traditional Catholic teachings.

Five years ago he sent out an updated version of the notorious 1962 Vatican document Crimen Sollicitationis - Latin for The Crime of Solicitation - which laid down the Vatican's strict instructions on covering up sexual scandal. It was regarded as so secret that it came with instructions that bishops had to keep it locked in a safe at all times.

So, what are the gullible Catholics doing? Filling two stadiums, waving flags and bowing down before the Prada slipper-wearing former Nazi.

But really, is anyone ever an ex-Nazi?