Fascistically Delicious!

Old-line Republican warns 'something's in the works' to trigger a police state


"Unless Congress immediately impeaches Bush and Cheney, a year from now the US could be a dictatorial police state at war with Iran."

"The administration figures themselves and prominent Republican propagandists ... are preparing us for another 9/11 event or series of events," Roberts continued. "Chertoff has predicted them. ... The National Intelligence Estimate is saying that al Qaeda has regrouped. ... You have to count on the fact that if al Qaeda's not going to do it, it's going to be orchestrated. ... The Republicans are praying for another 9/11."

And prepping, too:

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10990 allows the government to take over all modes of transportation and control of highways and seaports.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10995 allows the government to seize and control the communication media.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10997 allows the government to take over all electrical power, gas, petroleum, fuels and minerals.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10998 allows the government to take over all food resources and farms.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11000 allows the government to mobilize civilians into work brigades under government supervision.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11001 allows the government to take over all health, education and welfare functions.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11002 designates the Postmaster General to operate a national registration of all persons.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11003 allows the government to take over all airports and aircraft, including commercial aircraft.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11004 allows the Housing and Finance Authority to relocate communities, build new housing with public funds, designate areas to be abandoned, and establish new locations for populations.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11005 allows the government to take over railroads, inland waterways and public storage facilities.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11051 specifies the responsibility of the Office of Emergency Planning and gives authorization to put all Executive Orders into effect in times of increased international tensions and economic or financial crisis.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11310 grants authority to the Department of Justice to enforce the plans set out in Executive Orders, to institute industrial support, to establish judicial and legislative liaison, to control all aliens, to operate penal and correctional institutions, and to advise and assist the President.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11049 assigns emergency preparedness function to federal departments and agencies, consolidating 21 operative Executive Orders issued over a fifteen year period.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11921 allows the Federal Emergency Preparedness Agency to develop plans to establish control over the mechanisms of production and distribution, of energy sources, wages, salaries, credit and the flow of money in U.S. financial institution in any undefined national emergency. It also provides that when a state of emergency is declared by the President, Congress cannot review the action for six months. The Federal Emergency Management Agency has broad powers in every aspect of the nation.

Chimpy's chopping down a lot more than brush in Crawford.

Plumbing

Okay, let's start with the clean stuff. Aquafina -quelle surprise- is just tap water.
Like people with brains didn't know all along.

Instead of being sued or fined, they now, like other bottled water fraudulent conglomos, simply have to label their water as PWS, aka "Public Water Source."

So, if you ever bought it, you were an idiot. If you still buy it, you're an idiot.

I never liked running around with bottled water like a dehydrated doof at Burning Man; I mean, not in the gym, not in the office. I refill with filtered tap water or the wonderful luxury of jugs of (alleged) spring water at work.

Even when I'm on a long bike ride, I don't worry about getting dehydrated, because I know within an hour or so, I'll find water. Okay sometimes I bring some, but it's really not worth paying $2 for a bottle of what is -for now- relatively free. I use filtered tap water with a little lemon juice or vitamin C powder.

So those who were hoodwinked a billion or so dollars ago by Evian (Naive spelled backward) deserve to have lost their money, but the billions of plastic bottles and packaging loops now choking and killing seagulls and fish globally are having a worse effect on the planet than some less than perfect tap water is on your kidneys.

Mud Buds

One place where people probably drink a lot of bottled water - well, beer, apparently- is the Muddy Buddy Ride & Run. It's got events in several cities throughout the year. Apparently, people like to get all coated in mud, sometimes near a horse run. Ew, sounds icky. But you know, people like to get all wacky and zany for no reason at all. In certain communities, like the gay one, it's called a fetish. But for these hearty mostly straight folk, it's just good clean, er, muddy fun.

The course involves tandem running, riding, and dragging oneself through a mud pit, while trading a bike through the course. It seems similar to the Marine Mud Run, only without as many hot military studs.

Grand Poo, bah
I guess I could give something like that a try once, but today I wasn't even up for Critical Mass, despite a few friends' invitation. I'm happy I finally got back to the gym during my lunch break, after being away for days.

See (this is where it gets kinds gross), I got what I think was food poisoning early Tuesday morning.

I think it was a steak burrito I bought at Trader Joe's. It may have been partially my fault for letting it sit in the refrigerator a few days too long. But still, I only cautiously returned to shop there today. After two days of diarrhea, a short bout of barfing, and managing to get to work for a few hours every day to get the basic needed stuff done, I lost eight pounds! Not exactly a recommended diet plan. I'm still eating lightly, and have sworn off red meat forever. Ick!

On top of all this, I had a sunburn on my back from last weekend's biking and hiking, and in between flushing the toilet dozens of times (and freaking out my fussy downstairs neighbor), I was slathering aloe vera and lotion on my arms and back.

There's always a spot on the middle of my back where I can't reach. I recall a trip to Florida when I coated myself in sun block while at the beach. I kept missing one spot on my back, and ended up with a house-shaped sunburn right in the middle. So this time, I used a ladle from the kitchen. While laying around like a slathered, stomach-grumbling mess, I read two books.

Throne of the Idiot
Anyway, while on the subjest of toilets and their contents, down in Florida, a real shit of a politician is continuing his idiotic campaign to defame gays.

Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle has made himself a real turd, by claiming that gays hang out in toilets. His proposal is to make the city pay for expensive electronic toilets that force the doors open after a few minutes. That's supposed to stop gay sex.

Like the barf and other, uh, stuff, I spewed a few days ago, Naugle spewed more vitriol against gays.

UNITE Fort Lauderdale is asking people to Flush Naugle, but not boycott their city.

TowleRoad and JoeMyGod have a lot more about the potty-mouthed Naugle, including video of a "Flush Naugle" rally.
Now, ain't that the shit?

Backdoor Man
In completely unrelated news, New York magazine reports that nearly 40 percent more surveyed straight people are into anal sex.

A quote from a male (not the one pictured!), cribbed via JMG:

“My wife is totally turned on by the idea of ‘having’ me, as that’s just not something women really get to do most of the time, and it’s not something that guys have usually had done to them. It really is a reversal in the most primal of ways. I think anyone who doesn’t enjoy it or thinks they wouldn’t is hindered by their own hang-ups. It feels good, period. And breaking taboos is sexy. Variety is sexy. Being vulnerable is sexy.”

Just don't have a steak burrito beforehand. Trust me.

Turf

I'm cribbing the pics from the page on the SF Bike Coalition's site about Tour de Fat because I forgot my camera, and my pal Philip didn't bring one, but it pretty much looked like last year's: a fenced-in fun area of beer-sippin' music-listening, bike-riding people.


Around the perimeter were electric bikes on sale, and further outward, pot-smokin' cyclists. While we only had a few beers, it gave us the gumption to continue toward Ocean Beach, where we stripped down to our shorts and got wet. On the way back, we had to laugh as we rode by a wedding ceremony at the Windmills.

Why laugh?
For the straight readers (whom I vaingloriously postcarded at Tour de Fat), the Windmills are, or were, I'm told, a gay cruising area. The juxtapostion of gay/straight social arenas is, I'm finding, quite apparent, particularly now that I'm enjoying more cycling-related events. But few gay friends will bother to go to something like this, if there isn't some gay element. And the only "gay" element of Tour de Fat was a drag Drag Race. "It's Raining Men" played as competitors in a little cycling rodeo scooted around in funny wigs and dresses.

All in fun, of course. But I wonder when they're going to do the Mexican immigrant border race, or the Thug Master Flash drive-by shooting bike loop, while playing racially stereotypcial music.

Oh no, that would be in poor taste.

Anyway... I'm keepin' it short because, despite having tons of stuff to do, I have to be outside again today. It's just too good.

Unfortunately, for homo socialization, things are limited on a Sunday to
A) the Queer Tier of Dolores Park,
B) beer bust at the Eagle
C) maybe part of Baker Beach
D) Black Sands Beach

Why does there have to be a "gay space," straights ask.
Well, everyplace is your space, that's why. Face it; once you straight people find out Cyclizen is a gay book, you won't buy it. You don't want to read about gay bike messengers.

While gays have endured a life of straight-dominated culture, we do limit ourselves, too, even when straight people don't. Here in SF, it's like they're carefully trained to only rut in certain terrain here.

However, I don't want to get drunk, or ride my bike another three hours, and four of my friends are out of town, the dweebs.

Maybe I'll start a Guerilla Gay Bar, as documented in the NY Times. It's articles like this that prove the phrase "slow news week."

Gay Games at 25

This year is the 25th anniversary of the Gay Games. Yep, in 1982 a few thousand people marched proudly into Kezar Stadium for the first international multisport event of its kind.

To celebrate, organizers and board members of the Federation of Gay Games will have a big party, an exhibit at the SF Public Library, and today, had a reception at the new restaurant Farina.

Beef curtains? Nope, cascading prosciutto, which, along with the other nibbly things and raspberry champagne, were delish! The owners of the sparklingly clean and brightly lit new Italian eatery were on hand. The space is a former cookie bakery on 18th St. between Guerrero and Dearborn; highly recommended for a great dining experience!

Several Gay Games luminaries were on hand; reps for Mark Leno and Carole Migden gave out honorary certificates (I still haven't framed mine from Assemblyman Leno for doing the Sporting Life exhibit. Shame on moi!) Supervisor Bevan Dufty, an honorary co-chair of the events, received a framed poster from Gay Games II. He's been a member of FrontRunners for as long as the Games have been around!

I practically blushed when Bevan heaped praise on the exhibit I curated; but more important, it reflected the incredible impact the FGG and the Games have had on our communities and the world.

The Gay Games 25th Anniversary Celebrations take place October 27 at the Mission Bay Conference Center; a big dinner is planned. Tickets are $150.

On October 28, from 12pm-4pm, a community day is scheduled at Collingwood Park.

And at the SFPL's Hormel Center, Rose Mary Mitchell, a Tom Waddell Cup Award nominee and participant in the original first Games, will be putting together a new sports exhibit focusing on the Gay Games and the FGG, with another stalwart Gay Games veteran Doug Litwin. And yes, I'll be helping out - a little!

To help out, buy tickets, and find out more, visit www.gaygames.org/25

Paying it Forward

Thanks to Steve and guys at A Different Light Bookstore for hosting my first bookstore reading for Cyclizen!

Let me get a tad Page Six with the wrap-up (I forgot to take pics, so author's books are shown). About 30 people showed up, or happened to stop in and listen as I read passages from the first few chapters, then blabbed about the writing/production process. We sold out of books, so you'll have to wait a week or so to buy a copy there. You can also go to Books Inc, or online (see sidebar).

Several pals and a few writers friends were there, including Kevin Bentley (memoirist and editor of AfterWords - which I'm in- and Boyfriend From Hell and other anthologies), Lucy Jane Bledsoe (fiction and adventure author, whose quote about bicycles in her novel Working Parts I use in Cyclizen.

Other folks included Jim Rudolph (poi [fire dance] wiz and LifeCycle veteran), Seth Eisen (performer, visual artist and longtime pal), groovy dude Benjamin Patterson, visual artist Tofu, Rick Gerharter (photographer extraordinaire), and Carl Stein (organizer of Gay Days at SF Giants baseball games).

From SF Track and Field's stellar jocks, David Serrano, Bob Callori and his partner Chris Goodwin came by; they all racked up medals at the July 7 Pride Meet in various events.

Pals Stephen LeBlanc, Cayenne and a few other guys went to dinner at that new Thai place up Castro St. The fried rice with pineapple and shrimp was delish!

Read, beads, needs

Welcome to the glamorous world of author-dom; sending hundreds of emails, roving around in search of postcard-friendly counter-tops, posting bulletins on my MySpace page, making reminder calls to absentminded pals to come to my reading tonight at A Different Light Bookstore.

Being on the receiving end of hundreds of press releases a week, I pretty much got the knack of getting in all the local listings. My fave today is Good Day, San Francisco in The Examiner. It's a bit more selective, it seems, than The Bay Times, SF Weekly, SF Station, and other listings, so that's cool. Not that it ain't cool to get in all listings. It's just that since I'm writing the same thing for the BAR, I know how the artists value it, but the readers tend to ignore it.

Still, we keep moving and writing and sharing info. I hope people show up. Unfortunately, I'm right at the same time as Kirk and Larry-bob's Smack Dab at Magnet, but we'll see.

It's only a local reading, but it means a lot. I've read at ADL about a dozen times. I feel so sorry for authors who roll into town on long tours, only to see half a dozen people show up. I wrote an entire interview timed for Kevin Sessums' appearance at Books Inc, and they do great promotion, but only a dozen or so folks showed up. Still, Kevin did a great reading, and I look forward to doing an event there soon.


It's just odd; people go crazy over certain famous writers. I still fail to comprehend why people pay up to $25 to hear David Sedaris. I mean, sure, he's clever and all, but sheesh. He's got a voice like a weasel with a cold.

Bitter much? Sure, but I know books like mine will always have a smaller audience, like Pittsburgh-based Urban Velo. They put out a nice little magazine, and they know their audience.

So, don't expect any readings by me in far-off cities, except in San Diego as part of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists' Association over Labor Day Weekend. It really doesn't pay to travel to bookstores, especially when they don't promote it, or you, i.e., I- don't really have a fan base, in, say, Oakland or Los Angeles. I suppose if I was a porn star, or looked like one, I'd be able to call the shots (pre-signed books only?).

Tonight will be fun, and afterward, I'll plan the next event. But really, it's about you reading it on your time, not me reciting. I'll probably do some others around the Bay Area just for fun. We'll see. (Can you tell I haven't had my coffee yet?)

CelebCycle

Rafael Verga, David Beckham, Mario Lopez and Vin Diesel on bikes.



Just a cute warm-up for my reading on Wednesday (see right panel). Be there!!

Cycle-cilly

See the picture above? Looks fun, right? Cyclecide, billing itself as a bike rodeo full of fun, seemed like a good idea. so much so that I recommended it in my BAR Out & About listings last week.

Boy, was I wrong.
What seemed like what was going to be a wheely good time, a sort of county fair with bikes and hipsters, turned out to be nothing but a dirty little junk yard crammed with 50 people just standing around. It would have been fun if this were, say, a private party, which is what it felt like to me and a pal who'd ridden our bikes all the way out to bumfuque warehouseville where the event was staged.

Making a space for "alternative culture" is fine, cool, in fact. But charging $10-$20 for shoving a bunch of poseurs dressed up like a motorcycle gang musical into a cramped back lot with no room, and nothing to do but stare at a no-talent band or ride on a tiny merry-go-round isn't cool, or alternative, or unusual. It's just dumb.

To make up for my lost few hours, I stickered every bike rack along Hipster Row, aka Valencia St., where more people rode bikes and seemed to be enjoying themselves than at the Cyclecide "event."
Live and learn; at least I got a nice ride out of my Sunday.

Light my Fire

Nope, it's not The War of the Worlds, just The Crucible's Fire Arts Festival, featuring a dramatic and fiery adaptation of Homer's Odyssey.

A parking lot in Oakland became a little bit of Burning Man, and with the BART trains whooshing by above us, it took on a wonderfully science fiction quality. I can only imagine what strangeness uninformed commuters thought they were seeing.

What we saw on the ground was a marvelous array of small and huge metal sculptures that shot flames, many with audience interaction, particularly the giant snake, quite a favorite. Each vertebrae was a different flame controlled by buttons pressed by audience members. Occasionally a big shot blasted out, giving us all a pleasurable fright.

The show itself, in a large arena worthy of a rock concert, tried to offer up a flaming rendition of the tale of Odysseus and his roving ship of lost men. Some attempts were made to contemporaize it, but they seemed inconsistent. At one point, Odysseus is nicknamed "the Decider" (Bush; get it?), but later, he's a sympathetic veteran. We're supposed to like Odysseus, not hate him. Easton Smith, who played Romeo in The Crucible’s production of Romeo & Juliet—A Fire Ballet, played Odysseus. Our seats were too far off to see the players, but his voice had an unexpected sexy gravel to it. Although it may not be appropriate to their technique and style, video projection screens showing close-ups of the actors would have been helpful.
Some other conceits like comparing the Cyclops to Congress, etc, didn't work (neither did his mike). The addition of a crew member/break dancer who actually had one of those artificial spring metal legs was wonderful, though, as were the contortionist and acrobats.

But the stodgy script and numerous gaps kept the drama from unfolding well, despite the pleasingly gargantuan special effects. Imagine a staged reading as done by the flaming head of the Wizard of Oz. The effects wear down after a while. Still, the explosive ending, damn near apocalyptic, with the cityscape surrounding us, was unique, and I'm glad I witnessed it.
Oh, and my friend Stephen and I also survived a gang shooting that took place on a street only two blocks from the show. Stephen's car missed being riddled with bullets by a few feet. It served as an interesting entre d''acte.

On the Money

Chicago's 2006 Gay Games Declared a Financial Success
At one-year anniversary, Chicago closes books on international sports and
cultural festival

One year after Chicago hosted nearly 12,000 sport and cultural participants at
the 2006 Gay Games, Chicago Games, Inc., (CGI) the host organization for the event, announced today that it has completed the post-Games fundraising and wind down process and that the 2006 Gay Games broke even. Such a positive financial result reverses a 20-year trend, having not been achieved since Gay Games II in 1986. CGI accomplished the result with 2 fewer years planning time than most Gay Games.

"We are extremely grateful to our many donors, sponsors, volunteers, partners and vendors whose commitment and contributions made today’s announcement possible," said Tracy Baim, CGI board Co-Vice Chair and leader of the wind-down efforts. "Each deserves the appreciation of our city and the worldwide LGBT sports community."

"Looking to the future, we’re proud to have helped inspire our great Mayor Richard M. Daley to launch a bid for the 2016 Olympic Games®," said Kevin Boyer, Games Co-Vice President. "Our experience has demonstrated that Chicagoans come together in support of great and important civic endeavors, and we know that almost 3,000 Gay Games-trained volunteers and 400 business sponsors stand ready to help Chicago host the 2016 Olympics."

"At the Gay Games VII Closing Ceremony on July 22, 2006, Chicago passed the symbols of the Gay Games to Cologne, Germany, the host of the 2010 Gay Games," said Tracy Baim. "Today, we give to Cologne an even more important legacy - a Gay Games movement that is stronger and more vibrant. We look forward to coming together once again in just three years in celebration of the fundamental principles of Dr. Tom Waddell and the Gay Games - Participation, Inclusion and Personal Best(tm). See you in Cologne!"

More at the article here.


So, while Montreal still remains in a bitter financial mess, being millions in debt, as OutGames "organizers" continue to either hide under rocks or arrogantly blame the Quebec government for their gargantuan fiasco, the Gay Games have survived the massive Montreal assault on their event.

As you know, I covered this entire controversy in depth for years. In every article, reps from Montreal exaggerated, lied, and attacked the Games, even before the historic failed contract meetings.

I took flack from Bay Area OutGames participants for bias. They didn't like that I exposed the Outgames for what all eventually learned it was; a fraud, and a big one.

Yet, despite this, as the Sporting Life exhibit I curated and designed for the GLBT Historical Society continued through the run of these two events, I designed an updated display case in September 2006 that included images and loaned items from both events. No other exhibit of any kind has done so.


I'm proud to have helped doument this historic aspect of LGBT sports history, and having been proven right about my investigational research. "Bias?" If being informed and having common sense is biased, so be it.

You can't steal something so big, or try to, without a big whopping dose of karma. The OutGames remnants of an organization continue to attempt to survive by parasitically attaching themselves to existing sports events. They even convinced a Philadelphia gay tourism group to try to usurp that city's sports community -which has a rich Games history going back to the first one in 1982- by attempting to bid on an upcoming OutGames.

Allegedly, Copenhagen, the only city in the world that showed interest in hosting the second Games, is going to host OutGames 2. Its board has no sports organizers as yet. It's just a tourism board of a few people.

I don't know how they think they can pull off another hoax of an event. Their government must be quite gullible. We'll see.

For now, I'm happy to see the real Games having shown its true colors -just like Cyndi Lauper's song, performed at closing ceremonies- amid competition over a competition.

Good going, Chicago.

It Keeps You Running

San Francisco Track & Field's inaugural Pride Meet, held July 7, 2007, at SF State's Cox Stadium, proved to be quite a lucky event. Despite overcast skies and a bit of a chill, it proved great for a day of running, jumping, throwing and fun.

Lots of competitors - more than 100. Lots of medals (I got 4). Lots of jocks!

View my meager Photo Album here. In between competing, I just grabbed a few pics.

More links and results later, on PrideMeet.org.

Boringly gay; Mormon porn; Nick's dick

More and more gay households are partnered, domestic, and well, a tad boring.

An article in The Economist reports that gay life is getting more suburban and banal. Good for us, we can be boring and content, too.

The number of openly gay households is growing five times faster than the population as a whole. The last full census, in 2000, counted nearly 600,000 same-sex couples. Five years later, the American Community Survey (in which the Census Bureau quizzes a statistically representative sample of 1.4m households) estimated that that number had increased by 30%, to 777,000. Mr Gates reckons the bulk of the increase is because as tolerance spreads, more gay couples are willing to be counted.

The increase was most pronounced in the Midwest, with Wisconsin showing an 81% jump in the number of same-sex couples and Minnesota, Nebraska, Kansas, Ohio, Iowa, Missouri and Indiana also among the ten fastest-growing states in this respect. What this means, perhaps, is that gay America is becoming more like Middle America. “Much of the stereotype around gays is a stereotype of urban white gay men,” says Mr Gates. “The gay community is becoming less like that, and more like the population in general.” Gay couples are still more likely than straight ones to live in cities, but the gap is smaller than popularly believed, and closing. In 1990, 92% of gay couples but only 77% of American households were in what the Census Bureau calls “urban clusters”. By 2000, the gay figure had fallen to 84% while the proportion for households in general had risen to 80%, a striking convergence.

Yet, of course, there is still resistance. Ohio, where I was raised, has a constitutional amendment prohibiting gay marriage.

And, the article mentions "A black preacher named Wellington Boone, for example, [who] has circulated a pamphlet entitled 'The Rape of the Civil Rights Movement: How Sodomites Are Using Civil Rights Rhetoric to Advance Their Preference for Sexual Perversion.'"

Rev. Boone might want to check out Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

While I think there's nothing more banal than sitting in a hotel room wanking to crudely edited heterosexual porn (when, if you're visiting, the point is to go out of your hotel room and get laid with a local, I always thought), there's nothing wrong with it, other than a matter of taste.

Romney criticized for hotel pornography

Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney, who rails against the "cesspool" of pornography, is being criticized by social conservatives who argue that he should have tried to halt hardcore hotel movie offerings during his near-decade on the Marriott board.

Two anti-pornography crusaders, as well as two conservative activists of the type Romney is courting, say the distribution of such graphic adult movies runs counter to the family image cultivated by Romney, the Marriotts and their shared Mormon faith.

"Marriott is a major pornographer. And even though he may have fought it, everyone on that board is a hypocrite for presenting themselves as family values when their hotels offer 70 different types of hardcore pornography," said Phil Burress, president of Citizens for Community Values, an anti-pornography group based on Ohio.

Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, a leading conservative group in Washington, said: "They have to assume some responsibility. It's their hotels, it's their television sets."

During a recent Associated Press interview, Romney said he did not recall pornography coming up for discussion while he was on the Marriott board from 1992 to 2001. Despite being chairman of the board's audit committee, he also said he was unaware of how much revenue pornography may have generated for the hotel chain.

Romney said his current concern is not about pornography per se, but children unwittingly stumbling upon it on the Internet or television.

"I am not pursuing an effort to try and stop adults from being able to acquire or see things that I find objectionable; that's their right. But I do vehemently oppose practices or business procedures that will allow kids to be exposed to obscenity," the former Massachusetts governor said.

Pornography is a lucrative business for various hotel chains. Estimates vary widely, up to $500 million annually industrywide by one opponent, John Harmer, who served as California's lieutenant governor under Ronald Reagan.

Marriott and other major hoteliers say they offer pay-per-view pornography because their customers demand it and entertainment service contracts require it to underwrite first-run movies and free television.

Romney also recently got exposed for having tortured his dog years back when he strapped the animal in a cage to the roof of his car a la National Lampoon's Family Vacation.

And speaking of perverted heterosexuals, music has-been Nick Lachey, despite having been quoted as saying he likes sex outdoors and always wanted to make a porn video, seems to be all upset that paprazzi got snaps (so far, edited and censored) of him boinking his new gal pal in a hot tub, outdoors.

I don't know about you, but cynical folks are thinking this all to be just a PR ploy. Nick looks directly into the camera at one point, as if awaiting his "money shot" moment.

We're still waiting for the goods, but not holding our breath. As Aunt Ida says, "The world of a heterosexual is a sick and boring life."

Maybe Lachey can do a deal with Romney and raise funds for his election by letting people watch Nick boink women pay-per-view in hotels. Maybe they can torture dogs, too. I have no idea what these freaky straight people are into these days.

I'm just a boring homo.

Rasslin' Rockettes?

My first contact with a wrestling mat was when I was a dance major at Ohio State back in the 80s. I'd snuck onto the mat with a fellow dance student, who had wrestled in high school. We were practicing wrestling moves to incorporate into a dance. I later snuck into the practice room a few more times, and met an OSU wrestler. And then...

Well, this post is not about that. This year's crop of grapplers decided to have a student athlete talent show to raise funds for Columbus charities. A student got it all on tape:



Then the boys got on a local TV show; it's shorter, but you can see the studs up close. I particularly fancy the Italian grappler in the bitch-cut Daisy Dukes. He looks very hetero-flexible.




This reminds me of the high school talent shows in Ashland. No matter how good another singing or dancing act was, nobody could follow the annual "jocks in drag dancing funny" act that was a regular part of the show.

This also reminds me of a joke I shared with a friend, that decades from now, after the rights to my first novel go into public domain, some queen is gonna write PINS, the rock musical. (Shudder). It might look something like the above videos.

For more about the Buckeye Wrestling Team, check out their website, with links to pics and videos. WARNING, very loud circuity music loads (a tad gay, eh?)

And yes, world famous stud Tommy Rowlands is featured there, albeit in a few edited versions of the hot pics that swept through erotic sports galleries worldwide. And unfortunately, Tommy did not shake his groove thang with the group.

Anti-anti-gay gay

Maryland's State Board of Education voted to add gay-inclusive sex education to lessons to Montgomery County’s program.

"Two lessons, totaling 90 minutes, will be added to health courses in grades eight and 10 in the fall, along with a 10th-grade lesson and instructional DVD on the correct use of a condom.

The curriculum revisions, while short, place Montgomery in the forefront of a movement toward more candor in teaching about homosexuality in public schools."

Welcome to the 20th century, even though it's the 21st.

What's Smatter?
And down in Miami, Florida, mayoral candidate Bill Smatt is running on a single-issue platform; gay-hating.

Smatt's fundie-hate campaign starts in his front yard, where a sloppy banner reads the old alleged Donna Summer quote about "Adam and Steve."

"I promise you, when I become mayor, we’re going to clean up all this funny business going on down there," he's quoted as ranting. "I am bringing back Miami Beach for the families."

Nothing like Haggard clichés to get the campaign rolling. Unfortunately, Smatt is breaking the law with his oversize banner, and merely breaking decorum by being such a doof. Thanks to free speech, voters will know what a nutjob he is.

Law & Order
A failed lawyer blames "the gays" for his problems. He refused to answer a question about gay marriage. Well, that'll fix them!

Hex Gays
Michale Glatze, a sourpuss former gay editor of a failing gay mag h has turned ex-gay, just like that, poof! because he "had a conversation with God."
Look for him to get a hog's share of PR as he trashes a "lifestyle" he couldn't handle, or cover in his little magazine. Buh-bye.

Got Gaydar?

It's really odd seeing what we think of as commonplace queer vernacular make the mainstream media, especially when it's a bitchfight of a lawsuit.

Owndership of the term 'gaydar' is being disputed in a lawsuit.

A British company -- Qsoft Consulting Limited, based in Twickenham, Middlesex -- is claiming it owns the name as part of its gay and lesbian dating Web sites and online digital radio service.

The company, founded in 1997, claims in the lawsuit filed last week to have registered Internet domain names with "gaydar" as far back as 1999 and registered GAYDAR as a trademark in the European Community in 2003.

In November, the lawsuit alleges, a rival company operated by Teddy Tong, called TDTong Ltd. in Princeton, N.J., and San Francisco, began using similar Internet domain names for rival gay and lesbian Web sites.

I'd say Tong is way behind the times, and the Brit Co. has had the term for way too long to have it stolen. But then, maybe the court could just have the two company's heads try to pick out the homophiles in a crowded room using their gaydar. Whoever wins "spot the gay" most wins.

Sometimes, you have to use your gaydar to read between the lines of mainstream news. The London failed bombing attempt: did it have anything to do with Pride celebrations taking place the next day? Those celebrations went on, despite bomb scares and pouring rain. But few media put two and two together, in thinking that this stupid yet scary attempt may have been not unlike the failed bomb attempt in Jerusalem.